Off The Radar

I'll be checking out of life for a little bit. I'll catch up with my blog when I have a better grasp on my life and what's going on around me.

Nice weather we've been having, eh?

Autumn...

but it feels like July! Best night ever- warm, starry night, and an avocado Gouda sandwich. Life is good...

No Guac!

Brett bought me an amazing book titled, "No Guac." It's all about guacamole recipes and preparation to go head-to-head in any guacamole/avocado fueled competition. Did you know that the avocado is in constant competition with the mango for the title of world's sexiest food? I can put away 2-3 avocados in a sitting. Now that I know this sexy food-thing has like 30 grams of fat each I'll curb my enthusiasm.

Today was interesting. I went in for more training this morning and this afternoon. Go back in the morning to finish up... I didn't remember there being so much training the first time I worked at this restaurant. It's good, though. My training was pretty crappy when I originally started. Brett on the other hand took off for a commercial shoot for a bottled water company. Tomorrow his short film "The Cowboy Way" screens in Baker City for the town's fall festival. Let's be honest though, the only real item of importance is tonight's season premiere of "The Office."

Did I mention I didn't get any sleep last night and ended up sleeping all day? Minor detail.

I have follow-up emails to send out tomorrow on some projects I've been working on and some things coming up on this horizon. I'm excited about what the future holds, just not sure when and where it will play out.

My friend Tanya, called me today and left a message that she wants to meet tomorrow morning- she has some wine-related idea she wants to talk to me about. I'm game.

A New Day

When I woke up this morning I decided I was going to accomplish something, make some progress on a project, have something to feel good about at the end of the day. I narrowed my focus down to Brett's script and fully developing the backstory. Mission accomplished! We might be able to implement these ideas sooner than I thought. Bodies in motion stay in motion.

Twitter Whore

Um, yeah, so... Okay, it's not so bad as it sounds...

I've got 2 Twitter accounts: jillremensnyder and getintowine. I'm trying to merge everyone into a happy family and have been adding all my Get Into Wine peeps to JillRemensnyder twitter-world... is that incestuous or what? I'm the same person living 2 identities... Jill Remensnyder the writer who paces all day acting out dialogue and (now) waiting tables in her off time... Then there's Get Into Wine, the education wine dvd entity that most people think is masculine (sigh) and I talk food and wine. Can I be both people? Can I be Jill GetIntoWine Remensnyder?

I'm 3/4's of a way thru a bottle right now... that counts for something, right?

24/7

I'll admit- watching Dateline and 48 Hours (any court tv show, to be honest) makes me feel so much better about my life. I've never stolen millions, killed for insurance money, stolen identities and other newsworthy atrocities. These shows keep me grounded, I guess. But if I ever go off the deep-end I'll sure know how to do it...

Today has been bittersweet. It's the 2 year anniversary of my friend losing her husband in a mining accident. I logged onto Facebook to see if she'd posted anything or updates her status to clue her friends in on how she was coping. In the process I learned (via FB) that one of my former classmates lost her husband today- still not sure what happened but there was enough information posted through other people's sympathies to draw conclusions. Very sad.

I'm trying to rethink one of my stories and I'm hung up on my heroine's voice. The original drafts reflected a darker humor, more tongue in cheek but rather unlikeable characters- the latter drafts were a more honest, dramatic portrait of a family going thru a major life change. I'd like to merge the dark humor into the latter draft. I'm toying around with the idea of my character being portrayed in the more honest light with an inner dialogue that is more pessimistic and we see her change more on the inside vs. the outer. BUT- I don't know which narrative style is going to serve the story best- First person is easy. Third person would allow me a lot more flexibility to explore all the characters... I'd like my first person narrative to also explain and tell the stories of the other characters- almost like the story is being told in hindsight. Oh, I don't know what I want. I just need to make it work.

Moving along to other items... I'll start my draft of Brett's script soon. I need to take a look at the story we have and how we're going to weave the backstory in. The adaptation is moving along slowly, the webisodes are on hold until I get feedback/direction..., and who knows what else. Thursday I'm back to waiting tables "full-time" and still on-call with the casting company. Now I just need a winning lotto ticket. That would solve everything.

I did go to Portland State today to drop some papers off for Brett. That campus has come along way. When I went there (94-99) it was the most uninviting pitstop set amidst a beautiful park. Now the trolly runs through campus, the campus is expanded- takes up half of downtown it seems, and the student age is younger. Sigh. I wanted to go back to school this Fall and pursue a more user-friendly degree. Business Admin, Computer Science, you get the picture. Unfortunately, it's $50 admission fee- $50 that I don't have and need for things like fuel, water bills, life in general... Maybe another time, right?

All The Leaves are Brown. Like Dirt.

Why is it that whenever I really put my mind to something I end up creating more obstacles for myself. And when I'm not focused on my goals I'm more on top of things and I'm achieving my goals and living my dreams at maximum capacity? Why?

Now that I'm totally focused on what I need to do, nothing is coming together and I'm officially "the pudgy girl"- with a great personality. Ugh. WHY?

It's bad enough Patrick Swayze died today, but now I'm faced with the reality my size 4 seat is going more in the direction of a size 6 vs the size 2 I have my eyes on. Like I wasn't going to console my Dirty Dancing loss with maple bars, Sun Chips, and a lot of other crap. WHY?

Damn, I'm good at making up excuses. I guess I need to shut up, pull up my bootstraps, and get to work. Seriously.

The Summer Wind... Blows

The leaves are changing color, the days are getting longer, and there's a distinct feel of "change" in the air. I'm looking forward to the change. Summer wasn't especially fulfilling- a lot of great projects have been started but nothing to really show for as of yet. Meanwhile, lack of work and cash-flow has put a choke-hold on the household. Hopefully everything will be resolved within the next month.

We ventured out into wine country last night and after a couple stops in Carlton we landed in McMinnville at the Hotel Oregon on the Roof Top Bar. The most annoying group of people sat at the table next to us- reminded me of those happy groups featured in the Olive Garden commercials. The best quote from the table was a girl ordering a White Russian and her friend announcing, "But you're lactose intolerant. Is that a good idea?"

My healthy eating habits are long gone and I need to get back into the swing of things. Sigh. And exercise. Sigh. Blah. Moving on.

Brett is going to continue writing throughout the next week- see how far he can get and then hand it off to me. Not so willingly, but because of time constraints. We have very different writing styles and we have trouble explaining and seeing eye to eye on story elements. Hopefully I can jump in and work out some of the kinks and problems... We'd like to start filming next Spring.

And on that note, I need to clean house.

Back In The Saddle

Last night Becca joined me for a couple bottles of wine, lots of bread, cheese, and hummus. We were surprisingly not as drunk as you'd think. We actually got a lot of work done on the creative front. The timing was perfect as I needed a pick-me-up from my pseudo-mid-life-crisis. Over a year ago- maybe closer to 2- Becca and I started recording two of my projects as audio books. We had false starts and stopped work. She's offered to record both stories in her free time in her home-recording studio. Nice! It's in her hands- if she wants to add music, vocals, etc it's all her call and I can't wait to hear what she does. We also devised a plan to film little scenes on a weekly basis just to keep our creative edge sharp and stabby. Should be interesting.

I'm going to try and do a lot more journaling. Then I can regurgitate it all in blog form.

The garage door just went up and Brett's home. Gotta go.

A Quandary

What constitutes a mid-lfe crisis? Technically I'm 33 and since 50 is like the new 40 maybe I'm still too young to worry about this. I took a mental inventory of my life- the good, the bad, victories, defeats and everything in between. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep. My bad characteristics outweigh all my good, my failures trump my successes, my skills and experience don't match what I earn... When I really boiled everything down the only real solid thing I could come up with is that I can make an amazing grilled cheese sandwich. Right now the biggest competition in my life is that $100 panini maker my mother-in-law gave us last Christmas.

I've spent the last 12 years focusing on film production and writing and am still struggling to get a break. I get close but never seem to pull things together. Maybe I set my goals too high? Maybe I'd rather work toward lofty goals that I have little chance of reaching vs. setting low standards followed by goals that a slug could attain. I started to think I was being too hard on myself but I've settled with being brutally honest.

Every so often I require a small break-down that includes tearing myself apart. It makes me take better stock of myself when I put the pieces back together, I guess. Lost some sleep, shed some tears, but surprisingly gained some insight and a clearer vision of the big picture.

Still writing, still creating, still focused on my dreams. Oh yeah, and that DVD I purchased, the fitness one? Yeah, I'm doing that, too. Back to the grind...

Back To Work

Finally! Employment! And you know what the frustrating part about all this is? The job was there all along- I just ignored it. I've gone back to waiting tables at the restaurant I used to work at prior to selling cars. Hopefully now there will be some balance in my life. Granted- I loved being able to work on my writing and focus on other projects this summer, but I found I take my free time for granted.

Speaking of taking things for granted and misusing free time- I've really packed on the pounds. Yes- did the master cleanse and lost 9 pounds when all was said and done... but most of it was water weight. I don't think I was as toxic as most people. As it stands now I've put 4 of the 9 pounds back on. I'm still wanting to take off about ten pounds that has taken up residence on my ass and hips. (Never a good sign when your baggy jeans that you normally can't wear because they fall off your hips fit like a glove.) What I can't figure out- and if you're a nutritionist or fitness expert I welcome your thoughts- how is it that I managed to add 2 inches on my waist and 2 inches on my hips but lost on inch in my chest? Seriously? Did it just go south for the winter or is this normal? Please advise...

So the solution to this summer weight gain (besides crying and stuffing more ice-cream in my face) was the purchase of some fitness DVD last night at Target. I have the NYC Ballet Workout, Yoga, Pilates DVDS and they look very impressive on display with the other DVDS. I swear I'm going to do this one- I swear. Ultimately Id like to get back into shape so I can go back to dance. In college I took bellydance and was going to transition back into ballet and tap (tap being my ultimate favorite thing) but that was put on hold when Brett and I started dating. He had issues with it to say the least. Now, ten years later, he's okay with me getting back into dance and all that flexible stuff. Thanks. So, the idea is to get in good enough shape where I can show up at the dance studio and not feel completely foolish. We'll see how that turns out...

I'm still working on some writing projects. Things are a lot more streamlined and simplified now. I don't feel like I'm having to grasp at so many things. Everything will fall into place as needed. I think. I hope. We'll see.

I'm off to work. I'm definitely going to need some flair.